About me

Ah no ! Not another cancer blog I here you scream! 😱

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But yeah… I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not. This is my life. I appreciate that it’s not for everyone and that many will stumble across this site and never come back or will even forget about me. But that’s cool… I was like that too pre-diagnosis. I wasn’t a bitch to cancer it just never really affected my life before so I didn’t really care. And yes, I’ll admit I was a “not another fundraiser/bake sale/fun run for cancer”! So I don’t blame you for being in your little bubble because I wish I could still be in mine.

So I thought its about damn time I update this section and give a bit more about myself. So, here it goes… Hi, I’m Amanda. I’m a 29 year old girl… If you didn’t already figure that bit out already. Haha. Dealing with the trials and tribulations of cancer as a young adult. I was diagnosed with stage 3 squamous cell vaginal cancer back in January 2017. Since then I’ve been dealing with chemotherapy, radiotherapy and brachytherapy as well as the problems no girl should ever have to deal with so young.

Want your own mini me? Yeah… Thanks cancer for taking that from me.

How about no periods ever again? Well… Yeah, that’s pretty beneficial so thanks for that. Good old monthly mother nature was always a nuisance!

But gee… Thanks for making my ovaries all wrinkly and naff by making me go on HRT until I’m of a normal menopausal age!

Yep, just another big fat old lady tick to put in the box! I’M NOT EVEN 30!!! aaaagh!

Don’t worry, I’m not losing my mind and I’m not even angry angry… Just a little pissed about the situation.

So I can’t have my own kids? Fine I’ll foster. I’ll adopt. I never really made my mind up on the whole family thing yet anyway.

No periods ever again? Halle-fricking-lujah! I’ll just go camping or better yet travelling for months on end and save my money for something I want!

And the good old HRT… Well I’ll just have to suck it up and take that old lady pill because me not having it would be much worse than going without.

A year on since being diagnosed has been rocky to say the least. With my original diagnosis of vaginal cancer, I had a 10cm mass. Pretty big,Β  Pretty scary and if I’m honest… Survival? Pretty unlikely. I probably didn’t realise that at the time because looking back I was surviving on 70% positivity and 30% denial. But I beat the odds! πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ™πŸ» Radiotherapy and brachytherapy blasted that nasty bugger to oblivion! Woohoo, right? Yeah… It really was… All for about 5 seconds. Because shortly after being told I beat cancer I was told it had spread… To my lungs…

Fuuuuuck…

So now I’m upgraded. And not in the lucky way, its now stage 4 vaginal cancer.

My world had imploded. You can read my true feelings in the post titled “devastation“. As you can probably tell that one hit me worse than my original diagnosis. For some reason, the 2nd diagnosis made it seem more real. This isn’t just a battle… This was a freakingΒ  war and my body is in the middle of it.

So here we go, 2018… The year of dreams? Probably not… But I am not defeated. I battle on this time post chemo (2nd time) about to embark on more treatment.

Pre-diagnosis I was your average girl. I worked as a beauty therapist, started my own business as a permanent cosmetics therapist… Basically tattooing eyebrows and stuff. I loved to party with friends, hangout with family, read books for hours on end and occasionally if I was in the mood go out and run. And post diagnosis… Well I’m just starting to figure that bit out again. Pretty much still the same stuff but maybe with a new added insight to life these days.

I’ve always been a people person, I loved my job and still very much do, so I’m hoping with this I can help others out.

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I never plan to be. And quite frankly I’m not that bothered. I am who I am and I think I’ve earned the right to do what I want these days!

Feel free to add your stories, inspirations or just drop a message if you fancy it! Or if you really didn’t expect to be here (I don’t know how… It’s all in the title!) feel free to use the back button. I won’t tell πŸ˜‰

dav
Last chemo 29th Nov 17 😁

xoxo